My wife is my only reason for being.

Hello.

I am very blessed as well as content and comfortable because of my wife. For she is the reason why I am still alive in my mid 50's as two of my younger brothers, both of my parents and all my grandparents are in my past as well as her family.

My wife saved me from a sad depressing life of low wage slavery after graduating one year of college in business management then 10 years in retail before 16 years as a security guard -- passing 31 of their online courses and earning a 10 year award to prove myself and their sad pathetic incompetence.

I blame others for me not able to be better and I am not sorry one bit about my tone because they have proven their inferiority over time. I only trust my wife and those she trust because too many people have dissapointed me more than I could ever dissapointed them.

Now I am trying to achieve inner acceptance, calm and peace that my past family had to die to achieve as I improve my mind and forever soul through prayer and meditation with books, CDs, DVDs and notes. My only realistic dream is now to find a few true friends to help me with my exclusive small private meditation practice who will accept me for who I am.