I am trying to be better.

I was raised in a family of mental illness that I decided to reveal in this blog and no longer caring how surviving family feels.

For my Mother's father was what I call a post war drunk: a veteran of the Second World War who, probably, came home with what is now called P.T.S.D. and became a alcoholic. As a result, my Mother's mother gave away their 7 or 8 kids to a very abusing foster care system. My mother was the oldest as I am her oldest. Trust me: sadly, as a child, she was abused and raised to be a bitter old woman.

My father's mother died of a stroke at age 46 -- when my Dad was only about 11 years old. His father died on my first Christmas ever -- just 4 months and a few weeks of my life. My Dad was also a war drunk with P.T.S.D. because of his service in the Vietnam War. I was raised as an "army brat": moving from place to place. On the other hand, my parents got me away from a small redneck city we were born in.

But this added up to an uncertain childhood, but I got worse because to childhood bullying due to my mild bipolar depression caused by a childhood speech problem then a sad lifetime morbid obesity as an emotional eater. I was called "retarted" by people now exposed as mentally ill negative inferior minds, despite me proving myself by graduating community college with a one year business diploma as well as a student in politics and real estate. All this proven all thanks to our current so called President of the United States of America only selected by the Electoral College.

My mother died not being able to accept my doctors telling me that I have lifetime bipolar depression. She tried her best as a parent as well as my dad, but I decided that was her problem. My goal is to be better.

To my amazement, I have now outlasted most of the negativity as well as outlived most of my family. For I was the oldest of 4 boys. I have one younger brother still alive as well as neices and nephews who fought the family curse of booze, food, illegal drugs or smoking by moving away. I moved to the nearby big city of Cincinnati Ohio USA and have recently been offered life extending weight loss surgery. I am crediting this to improving my mental state thru mindful meditation. I am now hoping to become older than all 4 of my grandparents in less than 5 years in my early 60's. Then I will try to make it to age 70 and older to be older than my parents.

Wish me luck..? Thanks.